I’ve hit a low again. I can’t write. This happens so periodically, I can mark the day on which I fail to continue writing one month ahead of time. I never wrote just for the sake of writing and flaunting skills I don’t have. I never wrote to publish for a supposed audience. I write and have always written in situations where I had something to share but didn’t find it in me to express it verbally. Words evaporate too easily; they rarely find any appreciative audience at all, unless you target them carefully enough and spend most of your living time searching for that special audience. When I write, I bring permanence to what I share with others. I achieved peace of mind as my thoughts, hopes, wishes and dreams, my secrets, failings and successes are immortalized on a PHP database.
I accomplish several things at once during the writing process. For one, I can rest assured that one day the right person will read my stuff and may just find consolation, good advice or inspiration within it. However, it gives me a chance to process my experiences more carefully and helps me … well I don’t quite know how it helps me. I have tried finishing this sentence four times now and each time it either contained the words “calibrate”, “balance”, “find myself” or “organize”. I suppose they are all related in sensible ways but it doesn’t feel right defining it any further than absolutely necessary. Writing simply helps — helps me.
When I hit these lows, when writing seems hard, I surf through YouTube. Yes, sad. I know. There is absolutely no need to rub it in*. Looking through the main personalities on YouTube in recent months, I stumbled over Lasse Gjertsen who has quite an interesting profile. He was the reason I even wrote this entry today and despite my proclaimed inability to write, I am writing nevertheless. I am acutely aware of how this is a contradiction, yes. Lasse’s little self portrait in the following clip depicts his passion and reason for animation. Inspired by this clip I finally managed to write something again. While I may not be providing any kind of informative service to anyone, I hope to at least give someone else a jolt of motivation to continue doing what they had once loved but have given up due to whatever reason. Today’s entry on the Cytizen Blog doesn’t represent the result of new-found inspiration. It merely serves as an announcement for new things to come and perhaps can provide a kick-start for others.
Without further delay:
[video]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8ncOAJpr3n0[/video]
*My teacher always told me never to start any sentence with “There is…”. I am only covering my ass, here. There are many more such mistakes to be found here.
Agent 1 asks Agent 2 a question. Agent 2 asks Agent 1 for more detail. Agent 1 tells Agent 2 to get that information himself. Poor communication. Agent 2 forwards the conversation to me and asks why Agent 1 is acting this way. I find this scenario very familiar. It has happened before. Some colleagues are not always on good terms with one another. The reasons are manifold and range from never working together but in two different and remote locations, different interests as dictated by their position and responsibilities in the project, cultural differences, linguistic differences over to right out personal dislike. I see confrontations like this one every day. I deal with complaints of that sort every day. Today its between Agent 1 and Agent 2. They don’t work in the same building. I sit in the same office with Agent 2. 
